A large portion of the adoption story is what takes place after the adoption is finalized. Birth families go through a period of grieving before the healing can begin. Adoptive parents really learn first hand what it is to parent another's child, now their own. And Adoptees grow up. It takes time for each of these triad members to grow and develop the relationships they hope for in these roles.
Birth parents, especially birthmothers, begin to heal as they move forward. Some will maintain closer relationships than others through open adoptions, and some will have semi open adoptions, receiving pictures and periodic updates through the years. All hope and pray that they entrusted their sweet babies in homes where they will be loved and provided for, and that the adoptive families will honor the agreements made in their adoption plans.
Parenting is an exciting step for newly adoptive parents. They rejoice with the arrival of their new infant or child in their homes, prepare family and extended family to meet their new addition with gatherings and celebrations. And then the fun times begin with first words, first steps, solid foods and potty training. Before long, they are in fully immersed in parenting mode, teaching and learning right alongside their young adoptees.
For some, this comes easier than others. Some will experience older child placements, children that have come from foster services or international orphanages. These parents must be prepared with attachment parenting skills, armed with resources and support groups that teach from experience and support the child/parent bond. As children grow, educating them about their adoption stories can be very important in solidifying their identities and give them the security they need in your home and family relationships.
Adoptees grow up quickly. Sharing their adoption stories at an early age eases the anxiety of finding out accidentally later on. They'll know, whether consciously or not, and at some point, if their adoption is not already open, they will want to meet their birthparents. International adoptees can benefit by participating in cultural camps and groups to help build connections with their heritage. This can be especially helpful to those that struggle with finding their identities in transracial adoptions. All adoptees want to be loved and respected in their homes and communities.
All sides of the adoption triad can find a myriad of post adoption resources on Adoption.com.
Note: Our authors are dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent, and open conversation about adoption. The opinions expressed here may not reflect the views of Adoption.com.