In the adoption community, an adopted child is most often referred to as an adoptee. What it means to be an adopted child will depend on the experiences that brought him or her into an adoptive home and, of course, how he or she is raised to view the adoptive process.
Being the parent of an adoptee requires a certain sympathy to the child's identity. Although it's unlikely that adoption will affect how content a child is growing up, there will undoubtedly be a time when he or she will want to know more and may become frustrated by how limited or nonexistent information about the conditions of his or her adoption. This is obviously more prevalent for adoptees placed as infants or at a very young age.
Data reported in the chartbook Adoption USA suggested adopted children over the age of six are more likely than their peers to have behavioral and attention disorders. Adoptees are not necessarily destined to a maladjusted childhood, though. It's important adoptive parents are supportive of the range of emotions that may come with the acceptance of an adoptive identity. Children in transracial families or from different cultural backgrounds, for example, may need additional efforts made on their behalf to understand their roots and how it can be successfully incorporated in their adoptive parents' identities and roots.
Using positive adoption language early on in the placement is a key element to giving an adoptee a positive association with the community early on. Referring to an infant placement as the result of an unplanned pregnancy as opposed to an unwanted pregnancy or calling the child a "mistake" is preferable for the sake of the child's ego as well as preserving any kind of false judgment a child could make about his or her birth parents. Using birth parent in place of real parent is an example of another distinction that should be made early on.
Although the relationship between a birth parent and adoptee is most likely to be limited during the child's formative years, birth parents, siblings or relatives who wish to regain contact with an adoptee will need to wait until the child is 18 years old and then register with the state's search registry or may choose to search independently or have communication facilitated through the courts or private search agencies.
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Am I stupid/crazy?
September 14, 2013, 1:00 pm
Am I stupid/crazy? I have started thinking about adoption. I have no bio kids. I want to adopt a newborn in a year or so, I mean at least start the process. I've been reading and researching, and reading and researching some more. I know the risks and the costs. Well today I went to lunch...
Self fulfilling prophecy?
September 10, 2013, 11:29 am
I kind of hesitate to write this- but would love to get some feedback/opinions. One thing I have noticed lately on here (and I promise I am not calling anyone out, or even saying it is wrong!) is a frequent theme of "My FS or FD was exposed to AB and C... or had XY and Z happen,...
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