In the adoption community, an adopted child is most often referred to as an adoptee. What it means to be an adopted child will depend on the experiences that brought him or her into an adoptive home and, of course, how he or she is raised to view the adoptive process.
Being the parent of an adoptee requires a certain sympathy to the child's identity. Although it's unlikely that adoption will affect how content a child is growing up, there will undoubtedly be a time when he or she will want to know more and may become frustrated by how limited or nonexistent information about the conditions of his or her adoption. This is obviously more prevalent for adoptees placed as infants or at a very young age.
Data reported in the chartbook Adoption USA suggested adopted children over the age of six are more likely than their peers to have behavioral and attention disorders. Adoptees are not necessarily destined to a maladjusted childhood, though. It's important adoptive parents are supportive of the range of emotions that may come with the acceptance of an adoptive identity. Children in transracial families or from different cultural backgrounds, for example, may need additional efforts made on their behalf to understand their roots and how it can be successfully incorporated in their adoptive parents' identities and roots.
Using positive adoption language early on in the placement is a key element to giving an adoptee a positive association with the community early on. Referring to an infant placement as the result of an unplanned pregnancy as opposed to an unwanted pregnancy or calling the child a "mistake" is preferable for the sake of the child's ego as well as preserving any kind of false judgment a child could make about his or her birth parents. Using birth parent in place of real parent is an example of another distinction that should be made early on.
Although the relationship between a birth parent and adoptee is most likely to be limited during the child's formative years, birth parents, siblings or relatives who wish to regain contact with an adoptee will need to wait until the child is 18 years old and then register with the state's search registry or may choose to search independently or have communication facilitated through the courts or private search agencies.
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my 2 cents
February 6, 2014, 9:55 am
If the soon to be adopted child is not familiar with the new name I would start by using his/her given name as middle name when speaking to him/her. So if the adoptive name will be Sally and the given name is Jane, call her Sally Jane...and then just drop the "Jane" if that will not be her middle...Best manner for birth family to contact unwitting adult adopted sibling?
February 13, 2014, 3:06 pm
We have long suspected there was an adopted child of my grandparents. The family story was that the baby was stillborn. Several years ago, my parent tried posting on an adoption website asking for help figuring out the truth. My parent was contacted by someone from the state of birth whom had...
Only We Get It
February 3, 2014, 9:23 pm
Adopted kids always call their parents mom and dad, but deep down, they feel like there's something missing, and that "something" bothers them until they figure it out. Everyone else knows whose features they have, where they got their interests, why they think the way they do, how they got all of...............
January 16, 2014, 6:06 am
Thanks for all the responses and I welcome more. Well to make myself clear, husband and I had years of thinking this over and have come to a mutual agreement that we both want adopted and biological children. Although we only want one adopted child and would never treat him/her any different than...
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