Every adoptee has a birth mother who nurtured him or her for at least nine months before being placed with an adoptive mother and father, one of which is likely to not be biologically related to the adoptee. An adoptive mother, then, is a female parental figure who is not biologically related to the child she legally adopted, assuming parental rights and responsibilities of through the adoption process. The mother is perhaps one of the most important roles a birth mother considers in a prospective couple while choosing from her available placement options.
Defining the ideal mother is an impossible task left ultimately at the decision of a birth mother or case worker. She is someone who can provide a loving and supportive environment for a child to be raised.
Being and adoptive parent differs in many ways from being a birth parent. Unique familial issues may arise in which the adoptee struggles with racial or biological identity or expresses an interest or emotional investment in learning about his or her biological birth mother or father. Furthermore, being the adoptive parent of a foster child will be different than adopting an infant who never knew, remembered or experienced life in another household. In both instances, doing research on how to talk about adoption and an adoptee's adoption story will be helpful tools for adoptive parents to learn. Positive adoption language, for example, can really make or break an adoptee's early perceptions of adoption. By using sensitive words to refer to a child's birth mother and the process of placement itself (i.e. "place with" instead of "gave up" or "unplanned pregnancy" instead of "unwanted pregnancy."), one may not be able to avoid tough topics but will at least be outlining these topics with positive language.
Following the finalization hearing, the judge will issue an adoption decree to the adoptive parents. This is used as an intermittent birth certificate until a new one is issued to the adoptee with his or her adoptive parents' names on it. The adoptee's original birth certificate with his or her birth parents' names on it will be filed in a sealed adoption record with the state. Although it may take a little while for an adoptive mother to really come to terms with her identity and position on the new birth certificate, she now has the life-long role and gift of motherhood ahead of her.
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Help With Cradle Society
December 11, 2013, 7:19 pm
[QUOTE=Archive]Originally Posted By [b]Andrea Lea Parrish[/b] Founded 11/30/01 this new site is seeking anyone from an adoption triad seeking a birth parent, child or sibling stemming from an adoption through The Cradle Society in Evanston, IL. ALthough the primary reason this was set up, no one...
Bad relationship with adoptive mother
January 2, 2014, 6:18 pm
I am a 43 year old adult adoptee. My adoptive mother and I just do not have a good relationship at all, and I have suffered from it. I think it's more due to a personality clash, as I know of other daughters not given up for adoption who have a bad relationship with their mothers. My adoptive...
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