Every adoptee has a birth mother who nurtured him or her for at least nine months before being placed with an adoptive mother and father, one of which is likely to not be biologically related to the adoptee. An adoptive mother, then, is a female parental figure who is not biologically related to the child she legally adopted, assuming parental rights and responsibilities of through the adoption process. The mother is perhaps one of the most important roles a birth mother considers in a prospective couple while choosing from her available placement options.
Defining the ideal mother is an impossible task left ultimately at the decision of a birth mother or case worker. She is someone who can provide a loving and supportive environment for a child to be raised.
Being and adoptive parent differs in many ways from being a birth parent. Unique familial issues may arise in which the adoptee struggles with racial or biological identity or expresses an interest or emotional investment in learning about his or her biological birth mother or father. Furthermore, being the adoptive parent of a foster child will be different than adopting an infant who never knew, remembered or experienced life in another household. In both instances, doing research on how to talk about adoption and an adoptee's adoption story will be helpful tools for adoptive parents to learn. Positive adoption language, for example, can really make or break an adoptee's early perceptions of adoption. By using sensitive words to refer to a child's birth mother and the process of placement itself (i.e. "place with" instead of "gave up" or "unplanned pregnancy" instead of "unwanted pregnancy."), one may not be able to avoid tough topics but will at least be outlining these topics with positive language.
Following the finalization hearing, the judge will issue an adoption decree to the adoptive parents. This is used as an intermittent birth certificate until a new one is issued to the adoptee with his or her adoptive parents' names on it. The adoptee's original birth certificate with his or her birth parents' names on it will be filed in a sealed adoption record with the state. Although it may take a little while for an adoptive mother to really come to terms with her identity and position on the new birth certificate, she now has the life-long role and gift of motherhood ahead of her.
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Aid For Dependent Children
American Psychiatric Association
American Public Health Association
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Adoptive Parents Committee
American Social Health Association
October 23, 2013, 3:05 pm
Hi, I sit here a grown man in my early thirties crying my eyes out as I write this. I simply cannot take it anymore. For years i have struggled with my identity,i have always feel worthless,no good,i find it hard to trust people I don't have any close friends,I cant let people in.I always keep...Male born 7-28-1963 in Baltimore looking for birth parents.
October 20, 2013, 9:52 am
I am a male that was born on July 28, 1963 in Baltimore, Maryland at Union Memorial Hospital at 11:49 pm. I am mid-search for my birth parents through the Maryland social services and “Confidential Intermediary” search program. But thought I'd jump on here and make this post. I also...
OT: Another Horror Story in the News
November 16, 2013, 2:08 am
Sigh...this just came in on my newsfeed over at Facebook, and to say I'm appalled is an understatement. Adoptive parents in Union County, North Carolina, have been arrested for punishing a child by handcuffing him to the porch and placing a dead chicken around his neck. BUT the shocking part is...iso any birthfamily... born in Rochester,NY in 1982
October 30, 2013, 9:07 am
hello , i am in search of any biological family members . i was born May 29th 1982 in Rochester , NY. my birth mother was 23. Stanley Michelman was the lawyer that did the adoption and was also very close with my adoptive mother Maxine Hartley.. I have no info on my birth father .. i was...
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