Most birth parents choose to place their child into an adoptive family because they are unable to provide the lifestyle they want for the child. It's a choice that is made with love as well as certain degree of common sense. Often, the decision is also made with the best intentions for the parents' future as well, and many birth mothers and fathers will pursue a career and family sometime after placing his or her child with an adoptive family.
The decision to place a child with an adoptive family is one that has many state laws regulating how active each birth parent needs to be in adoption process and consent. Birth mother rights are more often clearer than birth father rights and while many states require adoption professionals to attempt to reach out to prospective birth fathers, they have considerably fewer rights.
If you are a birth parent who didn't elect to have an open adoption, it's important to familiarize yourself with your post-adoption rights and to prepare for the possibility that the child you placed may one day attempt to contact you with questions about your life post-placement and the placement decision. Thousands of adoptees register for search services every month, according to the Adoptee Search Center & Registry. Parents should also consider the possibility of wanting to search as well. Around monumental times in one's life, such as a graduation, birth, death, or marriage, one may be more inclined to search out of curiosity.
Adoptees aren't the only ones in an adoption that may question things. It's very common for a birth parent to question his or her decision, especially as they settle down after the adoption or receive updates from the adoptive family about the placed child. Finding a support group to voice any regret or guilt later after placement is something that can help birth parents work through complex and irreversible choices.
Coping with the decision to place a child is different for each birth mother and father, and it's completely normal for birth parents to feel curious about the child they placed around the time of that child's developmental milestones, such as starting school, graduating, going to college or getting married. If you're a birth parent and questioning your choice, remember you made the best decision for your child.
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Post Adoption Services
Putative Father Registry
Looking for Birth Parents or Relatives
November 5, 2013, 6:48 pm
I Was Born March 27, 1971 In Houston Texas. I Am Looking For Anyone That Could Possibly Be Related To Me. I Am A Female. I Possibly Have A Brother That Would Be Around 46 At This Time.Male Born On 8-16-67 In Albany N.Y.
November 2, 2013, 9:14 am
LOOKING FOR MY BIRTH PARENTS & SIBLINGS.I WAS BORN IN ALBANY N.Y ON OUG 16 1967 that's all the info I have due to my adopted parents refuse to give me any information regarding anything that has to do with my adoption.All I know is whats on my adopted birth certificate and is not much I don't even...
here's my story... in a nutshell (sorry if a bit long) :)
November 24, 2013, 12:26 pm
I became foster mommy to walter well over a year ago. he was 2 weeks old in hospital for drugs. At 4 months in I heard a relative in another state was interested in adoption. Of course I was upset but as a foster parent I knew that this could happen. I called her and every month for a few months...resources to help 4 year old understand his adoption.
November 7, 2013, 10:09 pm
My son knows he is adopted and we have incorporated this subject into everyday life since he was born. He realizes he did not come from my belly. That topic came up when he was 3 due to so many women from our weekly play group being pregnant. He knows some things. Our situation is a bit precarious...
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