No child, biologically related or adopted, comes with an instructions manual. There are times when being a parent will come naturally to someone, then there are the moments when the parental role is playing out to a tough crowd. Adoptive parenting, while no more difficult or easy than raising a biological child, certainly presents unique obstacles that other parents at the PTA meetings may not be able to give insight into.
Each parent has a different idea of what good parenting involves. Some family dynamics function best with a stay-at-home spouse and others cannot survive without two incomes to make ends meet. Finding a natural rhythm for a family may see plenty of trial and error scenarios as there is not "right" or "wrong" way to handle a situation because only time can really indicate the means of a decision. It may be helpful, though, to browse adoptive parent forums online for support and advice on adoption-specific guidance. For example, a child with a disability is going to share problems that children, adopted and not, will face.
Very basic and highly generalized advice given to adoptive families and those who regularly interact with adopted children includes using positive language to talk about adoption, especially when the child is old enough to ask sensitive questions about his or her birth parents and pre-adoptive past. Using terms like "international adoption" instead of "foreign adoption" are subtle, yet effectively different, ways to say the same thing. Parents may also want to be judicious about talking about adoption fees or other aspects of the adoption process that can be misunderstood and hurtful for a child due to the association "cost" has with a financial transaction. Being told their "adoption price" can affect a child's idea of self-worth.
Finding time to talk to the child about adoption and to open the door for questions is also important. No child wants to feel that a topic is taboo, especially if the adoptive parents are the only source of the information. Transracial adoption is another pressure for good parenting, especially if there are language barriers, as are any health needs that may develop in a child. Learning to embrace everything that comes with the role of parental guidance is difficult even without the adoption lens.
See Also: single parenting
Parenting Is Hard, Streaming Isn't - Says Netflix
Parenting Is Hard, Streaming Isn't - Says NetflixThe verdict on tiger-parenting?
( University of California - Berkeley ) Long before Amy Chua's provocative 2011 memoir, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," raised the bar for tough-love parenting, psychologists at UC Berkeley were studying the effects of three kinds of child-rearing: authoritarian (too hard), permissive (too soft)...
Parenting and home environment influence children's exercise and eating habits
( Duke University Medical Center ) Kids whose moms encourage them to exercise and eat well, and model those healthy behaviors themselves, are more likely to be active and healthy eaters, according to researchers at Duke Medicine.Daniel Wehrwein: Study doesn't show gay parenting harms kids
Dear Editor: A 2012 study of gay parenting by Mark Regnerus has been encouraging some conservatives to say same-sex parenting harms children, and anyone who still supports it cares more about
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Special Needs Child
Fetal Alcohol Effects
Diagnosis Related Group
June 14, 2013, 6:02 pm
Okay, I'm feeling better now. Thank you all for your replies. Melissa, congrats on your new adoption! It really does help to hear stories like the ones told here. For a few days I've just had really bad anxiety, but as some of you have said, sometimes the SW's at some of these classes really...SW Visit Yesterday - What a CROCK!
June 11, 2013, 9:37 am
The boys SW came to the house yesterday. Leading up to yesterday, the SW has been all talk about wanting to "have a case review" and "get back in front of the judge". NOPE, not her tune yesterday. Like TemporaryMom said in my last post about bios JUST doing visits. The SW said it..."well,...
Chronically Homeless Bios
June 14, 2013, 2:48 pm
Ok. This is my second post of the day. I find that I post a lot on days when I am most frustrated about where things are going with our current placement. If you have had or have a case wherein the bios are cronically homeless, please reply. The boys BP's have been homeless (living in the...Toddlers and Attachment Parenting
June 12, 2013, 2:20 am
For those who have adopted toddlers through foster care, did you take an attachment parenting class? If so, did you find it useful with your toddlers? We are starting these classes and some of the stories have made me worry about future placements. I'm afraid I'll be a failure as a new mom. :(
Note: Our authors are dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent, and open conversation about adoption. The opinions expressed here may not reflect the views of Adoption.com.