No child, biologically related or adopted, comes with an instructions manual. There are times when being a parent will come naturally to someone, then there are the moments when the parental role is playing out to a tough crowd. Adoptive parenting, while no more difficult or easy than raising a biological child, certainly presents unique obstacles that other parents at the PTA meetings may not be able to give insight into.
Each parent has a different idea of what good parenting involves. Some family dynamics function best with a stay-at-home spouse and others cannot survive without two incomes to make ends meet. Finding a natural rhythm for a family may see plenty of trial and error scenarios as there is not "right" or "wrong" way to handle a situation because only time can really indicate the means of a decision. It may be helpful, though, to browse adoptive parent forums online for support and advice on adoption-specific guidance. For example, a child with a disability is going to share problems that children, adopted and not, will face.
Very basic and highly generalized advice given to adoptive families and those who regularly interact with adopted children includes using positive language to talk about adoption, especially when the child is old enough to ask sensitive questions about his or her birth parents and pre-adoptive past. Using terms like "international adoption" instead of "foreign adoption" are subtle, yet effectively different, ways to say the same thing. Parents may also want to be judicious about talking about adoption fees or other aspects of the adoption process that can be misunderstood and hurtful for a child due to the association "cost" has with a financial transaction. Being told their "adoption price" can affect a child's idea of self-worth.
Finding time to talk to the child about adoption and to open the door for questions is also important. No child wants to feel that a topic is taboo, especially if the adoptive parents are the only source of the information. Transracial adoption is another pressure for good parenting, especially if there are language barriers, as are any health needs that may develop in a child. Learning to embrace everything that comes with the role of parental guidance is difficult even without the adoption lens.
See Also: single parenting
Parenting: Where To Go 12/13/13
NY1 parenting correspondent Shelley Goldberg recommends some places to go with parenting news you can use.Harsh parenting, more common among poor, impairs kids' brain growth
The scenes are too common for comfort: A mother grabs her daughter's arm roughly on the bus. A father at a Wawa growls coarsely into his son's ear.
tommee tippee Wins Three SheKnows 2013 Parenting Awards
NORWOOD, Mass., Dec. 10, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- tommee tippee, the fastest growing baby bottle brand in America, is the winner of three SheKnows 2013 Parenting Awards in the following categories: SheKnows, a leading online women's destination with more than 40 million unique visitors per month,...Ethan Couch: For 'affluenza' the solution is parenting
Ethan Couch: Texas teen Ethan Couch receives ten years probation after killing four in a drunk driving accident. Could more attentive parents have helped curb what the defense called 'affluenza?'
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Diagnosis Related Group
Division Of Policy And Plans
Child Welfare Agency
The anticipation is killing me! Want to help me guess?? (long)
December 4, 2013, 8:15 am
We have court in TWO WEEKS. I have been waiting 6 months for this! I had no idea how I would make it this long but here we are two weeks from the next step and I have no idea what is going to happen. Lets be honest here, when I heard about Turkey through the family grapevine there was no talk...What!?!?!?!
December 5, 2013, 2:35 pm
[QUOTE=loveajax]Btw, this is from the state of Oregon's DHS foster/adoption website...you can see it makes it sound as if foster families have the "priority"... Some children are placed with other family members or non-related adults with whom they have a significant attachment. Foster...
Do Shelter RUs Last? Do they happen often?
November 30, 2013, 12:05 pm
Overall, I don't really think biomom will get it together enough to get the boys back, but her RU plan is fairly simple. It is still written in the plan that biomom has to attend DV classes, parenting classes, stay away from biodad and get housing. In reality, I don't think she even needs to...Psychologist says Bparent not fit to parent?
December 4, 2013, 3:10 pm
We have had our FC for a little over 6 weeks. There has been an open investigation against BPs due to DV against Bmom by BD, some neglect and some not so great parenting decisions (but nothing too extreme besides the DV) for about a year. They have been receiving in home services until her...
Note: Our authors are dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent, and open conversation about adoption. The opinions expressed here may not reflect the views of Adoption.com.