Depending on which side of the adoption triad one finds him or herself searching as, the outcome of an adoption search may seem more like an initial meeting or a reunion. Either way, the means usually justify the end as the search process asks one to reflect on his or her reason for searching. often sustaining the very curiosity that attracts many to the idea of reunion.
A successful adoption search will reunite an adoptee and his or her birth relative. And after all of the hard work, time, financial input and emotional obstacles have been overcome in the search process, what may come post-reunion is the rest of the up-hill journey to establishing a relationship with one's pre-adoptive or pre-placement past. Sometimes, reuniting with one's birth mother may not go as planned. It is, after all, impossible to regain the years apart from one another. Adoptees and birth parents who search are encouraged to join support groups to provide an outlet for discussing any difficult situations that arise.
Reunited adoptees and birth relatives may be able to expect to enter into one of many stages of reunion. There are various collections of stages, one of which is a list of adapted stages from the Kubler-Ross stages of grief. The first stage is "Shock and Denial," during which the two parties feel positive about meeting one another and spend a considerable amount of time connecting. As with anything in sudden excess, the parties may soon become apprehensive about the relationship and want to spend time apart from one another to normalize their perception of the relationship. This may be followed by a denial of their initial euphoric reaction. From here, the parties may experience anger and guilt toward the other. Following this, the two parties may feel they just need a "time out" and that this can allow their sense of normalcy to return. Because this is a passive approach to intense emotions, adoptees and birth relatives may become depressed, which must then be overcome with acceptance. How long this post-meeting process takes varies by person, but in the end a deeper understanding of self will most likely manifest in the parties' perceptions toward the relationship and they may reunite again to clarify and define the relationship.
Category: Search And Reunion
Reunion Gold Corporation-Corporate Update
Reunion Gold Corporation announces plans to replace existing loans from two senior executives of the Company with convertible notes with aggregate principal amounts of $US 212,000 and $C 1,007,000 . The ...World Cup Group G:
Monty Python reunion will come to London in July
The Monty Python reunion, which will unite the five remaining members of the comedy troupe, will take place at the O2 Arena in London this summer. The Monty Python reunion will consist of old and new material, said the group members.Bullied Classmate Is Surprised By Apologies, Hugs At Reunion
DEAR ABBY: I'm writing regarding "Lost for Words" (July 7), who skipped her 10-year high school reunion because she was bullied in school. (She is now receiving Facebook messages from former classmates who want to apologize.) When I got there, I was given hugs by classmates....
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question about birthmother contact with grandson
November 1, 2013, 3:39 pm
I was in reunion with my birthparents for 4 years. It did not end well. I terminated the relationship because I felt that my birthmother really did not want to participate in it. Although she initiated the original contact with me, she developed some pull back symptoms. This was painful and...Confidential Intermediary
November 29, 2013, 11:41 pm
Have you tried the Confidential Intermediary services in Illinois? You can petition the court for the appointment of a Confidential Intermediary and they can contact the party's involved to see if a reunion is desired.
Rejection is bitter to swallow
November 24, 2013, 10:43 pm
Well my uncle spoke to my birth mother yesterday and she refused to talk about any of it to the point she said its in the past period . It's so sad for me to know that I will probably never know who my father is/was or if I have any half siblings through him. There is a father out there who never...Its been awhile
November 26, 2013, 5:14 pm
I used to post here ages ago so it was good to see some familiar names still here. I "reunited" with my child after 18 years in a simiopen situation. Reunion consisted of a few sketchy emails here and there, nothing genuine or heartfelt ever took place. She wasn't ready to let me in nor was she...
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